A Hole in the Heart

Not everyone is blessed with the love and protection of parents who stay together. Children deprived of that special kind of security will respond in their own unique ways.  Some kids raised by a single parent will do fine. Others may not, especially if the absent parent doesn’t care and has chosen to not be a part of the child’s life.

In such situations, the child usually concludes that she is neither wanted nor loved. This can leave the youngster feeling victimized, sad, angry and anxious. In the worst cases, the victim develops severe depression and/or anxiety, even physical symptoms, loses the will to succeed, and sometimes the will to live.

In addition, the  victim generally feels deeply rejected, hurt and empty. It must be understood that being rejected by a parent is unlike any other kind of rejection. That brand of rejection is painful enough to compel the victim to take steps – sometimes extreme steps – in order to fill the void; the hole in the heart. She hungers for acceptance and protection. Her emotions take over. In her desperation she makes the serious error of assuming that someone, somewhere could provide the love and warmth that she has been craving; everything will be okay, if she can only find the right person.

However, another problem exists; a problem that makes this pursuit completely futile. That is, the love she craves is the special kind of love that only a parent can give.

This person has put herself in an impossible situation, looking for something that is not available. And yet, despite one failed relationship after another, the hurting heart continues, like one who’s slogging through a desert, scanning the horizon for an oasis. Never mind that every previous oasis was really a mirage; she cannot give up the search.

Despite the sadness of this situation, there’s good news. Ample evidence  exists that people who have suffered in this way have overcome the hurt, and are able to live fulfilling, joyful lives.

If you’re struggling with this problem, the first step is to ask yourself whether this is possible for you, and whether you believe that seeking healing would be worth the effort. If you’re wondering about that, I assure you that it certainly would be worth the effort, because the potential for healing is great. Furthermore, if you’re honest, you know that doing nothing will not help your situation. As one writer puts it, “emotions are not biodegradable.”

If you’re curious, and if this is a good time for you to reach out, please don’t hesitate to call for a brief, no-cost consultation. The phone number is 219-309-3928. I’d be honored to be of service.

Thanks for reading!