Conflict # 64 – Perspective

In order to handle conflict effectively, we must be in a calm state of mind and body.  That means we need to manage our own stresses, understand what triggers us to feel threatened, upset, unbalanced, and know how… Read More

Conflict # 63 – Now and Forever

If you attended public school in the United States, your school conducted monthly fire drills to help you respond in an emergency. The students knew exactly what to do when the buzzer or bell rang. And the staff… Read More

Conflict # 62 – Your Inner Language

In my previous articles you may have read about the mistakes made by virtually everyone when trying to resolve a conflict. Let’s look at one of the big mistakes. Actually a three-part mistake. First, assuming you know what… Read More

Conflict # 61 – A Hard Truth

In a previous article I proposed the idea that unhappiness often results from holding unrealistic expectations; that is, expectations not based on evidence or facts. Instead, such expectations are based on a number of misconceptions. Here are two… Read More

Conflict # 60 – The Instigator

I recently received requests for couples counseling from two women, both around 35 to 40 years of age – call them “Tiffany” and “Brittany”. Tiffany has three children from a previous relationship. She also has a one year-old… Read More

Conflict # 59 – Abuse & Fear

I’ve provided counseling to numerous victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Their courage and openness have allowed them to provide great insights into the short-term and long-term after-effects of abuse. One such effect is difficulty in handing… Read More

Conflict # 58 – Encouragement

In Conflict #56 and #57 you may have read about reinforcing the small helpful changes made by the person you’re fussing with. Once you’ve decided to do that, it works best when you do it right. And there’s… Read More

Conflict # 57 – Lend a Hand, Part 2

In the Lend a Hand article, you can see the importance of reinforcing small improvements made by the other person. Unfortunately, some people don’t get it. In fact some clients, mainly male clients, have said that it’s silly… Read More

Conflict # 56 – Lend a Hand

In many relationship conflicts one or both of the people are so stressed and exhausted by the fighting, arguing and name-calling, that they both want quick relief. Each one blames the other, and in cases of extreme stubbornness,… Read More

Conflict # 55 – How to Beat the Bully

Bullying is nothing new, and you may know such a story, yourself. If so, please feel free to contact me about it. Meanwhile, I’d like to share a story about how one 12 year-old boy took care of… Read More