In a recent session with a married couple, the wife told me that her husband sometimes comes home from work feeling grouchy. He can’t seem to blow off enough steam, he just keeps venting. She tells him to… Read More


Our beliefs determine our decisions, thoughts and behavior. A client of mine who suffers from anxiety recently told me that his positive state of mind can turn negative if the slightest thing goes wrong. Over several sessions he… Read More

Warning Signs

Some problems are caused by powers beyond our control. But other problems are the product of our own errors. One such error is the refusal to acknowledge and to accept reality. Let’s take a hypothetical couple – call… Read More

Conflict # 66 – Relationship and Rules

“Rules minus relationship equals rebellion.” – Josh McDowell Blended families have their own unique sets of problems. One of the most common is that the step-parent attempts to exercise authority over the spouse’s children, without having formed a… Read More

Conflict # 65 – Breaking the Pattern

The resolution of some conflicts may not be as hard as it appears. I once worked with a couple who were in daily conflict with each other. They were stuck in a number of unhealthy patterns. Among them,… Read More

Conflict # 64 – Perspective

In order to handle conflict effectively, we must be in a calm state of mind and body.  That means we need to manage our own stresses, understand what triggers us to feel threatened, upset, unbalanced, and know how… Read More

Conflict # 63 – Now and Forever

If you attended public school in the United States, your school conducted monthly fire drills to help you respond in an emergency. The students knew exactly what to do when the buzzer or bell rang. And the staff… Read More

Conflict # 62 – Your Inner Language

In my previous articles you may have read about the mistakes made by virtually everyone when trying to resolve a conflict. Let’s look at one of the big mistakes. Actually a three-part mistake. First, assuming you know what… Read More

Conflict # 61 – A Hard Truth

In a previous article I proposed the idea that unhappiness often results from holding unrealistic expectations; that is, expectations not based on evidence or facts. Instead, such expectations are based on a number of misconceptions. Here are two… Read More

Conflict # 60 – The Instigator

I recently received requests for couples counseling from two women, both around 35 to 40 years of age – call them “Tiffany” and “Brittany”. Tiffany has three children from a previous relationship. She also has a one year-old… Read More