Predictability & Anxiety

As a therapist, I have observed that most people who have anxiety complain of a low tolerance for uncertainty. Not knowing what’s going to happen in a given situation is liable to make them uncomfortable, anxious or even… Read More

PATIENCE

If you struggle to make smart decisions, please read on.

Venting

In a recent session with a married couple, the wife told me that her husband sometimes comes home from work feeling grouchy. He can’t seem to blow off enough steam, he just keeps venting. She tells him to… Read More

BELIEFS

Our beliefs determine our decisions, thoughts and behavior. A client of mine who suffers from anxiety recently told me that his positive state of mind can turn negative if the slightest thing goes wrong. Over several sessions he… Read More

Conflict # 64 – Perspective

In order to handle conflict effectively, we must be in a calm state of mind and body.  That means we need to manage our own stresses, understand what triggers us to feel threatened, upset, unbalanced, and know how… Read More

Conflict # 63 – Now and Forever

If you attended public school in the United States, your school conducted monthly fire drills to help you respond in an emergency. The students knew exactly what to do when the buzzer or bell rang. And the staff… Read More

Conflict # 62 – Your Inner Language

In my previous articles you may have read about the mistakes made by virtually everyone when trying to resolve a conflict. Let’s look at one of the big mistakes. Actually a three-part mistake. First, assuming you know what… Read More

Conflict # 61 – A Hard Truth

In a previous article I proposed the idea that unhappiness often results from holding unrealistic expectations; that is, expectations not based on evidence or facts. Instead, such expectations are based on a number of misconceptions. Here are two… Read More

Conflict # 59 – Abuse & Fear

I’ve provided counseling to numerous victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Their courage and openness have allowed them to provide great insights into the short-term and long-term after-effects of abuse. One such effect is difficulty in handing… Read More

Conflict # 55 – How to Beat the Bully

Bullying is nothing new, and you may know such a story, yourself. If so, please feel free to contact me about it. Meanwhile, I’d like to share a story about how one 12 year-old boy took care of… Read More