Conflict # 29 – Letting Go

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – from Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy Of the many influences you’ve experienced through your life, what would you say has had the greatest… Read More

Conflict # 25 – Avoidance

Since reasonable people don’t enjoy rough personal conflict, they tend to avoid it when possible. They pick their battles carefully. I mention “rough conflict” as opposed to respectful disagreements. There’s no harm in having a civil discussion of… Read More

Conflict # 23 – Defensiveness

Here’s a follow-up to my post “It’s Not Personal”. Once upon a time in our youth, when we were helpless, we built walls to protect ourselves. The walls kept us safe. We came to rely on them. And… Read More

Conflict # 22 – It’s Not Personal

“Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.” – Rev. John Watson A mother bought her son two beautiful sweaters for his twenty-first birthday. Later that week, getting ready for… Read More

Conflict # 21 – Unrealistic Expectations

“Women marry men, expecting that they will change. Men marry women, hoping they won’t.” – Author unknown From early childhood we learn to think about what’s next; the next moment, the next day, week, year. We develop expectations…. Read More

Conflict # 20 – The Internal Struggle

Two people, Jason and Justin, each with opposite life situations. Jason hates his job. He is struggling financially. His home life is in tatters. Justin has a passion for his profession, enjoys a happy relationship and loves his… Read More

Conflict # 19 – Lying

In putting together these posts on conflict, I skipped the obvious comments, assuming they go without saying … No yelling or screaming, no property destruction, no physical violence, no threats, no running away, no foul language, no name-calling… Read More

Conflict # 16 – Hang in There!

If you know how a pressure cooker works, you know it contains a valve on the lid that allows steam to escape slowly. Without the release valve, the pot would explode. Keep that image in mind, please. Most… Read More

Conflict #12 – Assertive or Aggressive?

One of my clients is a lovely lady, thoughtful and smart, and well past retirement age. Even in this season of her life, she is willing to improve herself. She says that one of her problems is, “I… Read More

Conflict # 10 – Triggers

We use the word “trigger” to mean something that stimulates a knee-jerk reaction. It can come from the environment, like other people’s behavior; that’s an external trigger. Or it can come from inside, such as a physical pain… Read More