Conflict # 61 – A Hard Truth

In a previous article I proposed the idea that unhappiness often results from holding unrealistic expectations; that is, expectations not based on evidence or facts. Instead, such expectations are based on a number of misconceptions. Here are two… Read More

Conflict # 59 – Abuse & Fear

I’ve provided counseling to numerous victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Their courage and openness have allowed them to provide great insights into the short-term and long-term after-effects of abuse. One such effect is difficulty in handing… Read More

Conflict # 55 – How to Beat the Bully

Bullying is nothing new, and you may know such a story, yourself. If so, please feel free to contact me about it. Meanwhile, I’d like to share a story about how one 12 year-old boy took care of… Read More

Conflict # 54 – Why We Fear Conflict

People avoid conflict for lots of reasons, all having to do with anxiety – the fear that something bad could happen. For such folks, the anxiety leads to negative self-talk. Here are some examples: I’m in trouble. I… Read More

Conflict # 49 – Double Your Treasure

In my endeavor to help people with problems, I use something which I call the “Two-Track” approach: Track 1 and Track 2. The reason for this approach is simple. Everyone who comes for help says something like, “I… Read More

Conflict # 48 – Prevention

Group-against-group conflicts have existed throughout history. They are imprinted onto our world, as a color-fast dye becomes a permanent part of a fabric. Some have been resolved, but, as mentioned in a recent article, other conflicts appear impossible… Read More

Conflict # 45 – The Impact of Trauma

Psychological trauma has far-reaching effects. So that we’re on the same page, let’s be clear: what is trauma, actually? Psychological trauma is a condition, in response to a past event(s) that leave the victim with painful feelings, memories,… Read More

Conflict # 44 – Trust Your Gut

“Things are not always what they appear to be. People are not always who they appear to be.” The conflicts we encounter with others are often a result of one or all of the parties not seeing things… Read More

Conflict # 41 – The Trouble with ‘Why’

Years ago, I provided counseling to a fifteen year-old boy; call him “Skip”. His parents, “Chad” and “Juanita”, put him into our treatment center to address his anger, depression, bad behavior and poor school work. A few months… Read More

Conflict # 39 – Carrot or Stick?

Shall we assume you’re interested in improving your conflict management skills? If so, and if you’re honest, you have already concluded that something about your behavior and attitude has to change. Right? Good. Let’s go on, then. Think… Read More