Conflict # 64 – Perspective

In order to handle conflict effectively, we must be in a calm state of mind and body.  That means we need to manage our own stresses, understand what triggers us to feel threatened, upset, unbalanced, and know how… Read More

Conflict # 63 – Now and Forever

If you attended public school in the United States, your school conducted monthly fire drills to help you respond in an emergency. The students knew exactly what to do when the buzzer or bell rang. And the staff… Read More

Conflict # 62 – Your Inner Language

In my previous articles you may have read about the mistakes made by virtually everyone when trying to resolve a conflict. Let’s look at one of the big mistakes. Actually a three-part mistake. First, assuming you know what… Read More

Conflict # 61 – A Hard Truth

In a previous article I proposed the idea that unhappiness often results from holding unrealistic expectations; that is, expectations not based on evidence or facts. Instead, such expectations are based on a number of misconceptions. Here are two… Read More

Conflict # 59 – Abuse & Fear

I’ve provided counseling to numerous victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Their courage and openness have allowed them to provide great insights into the short-term and long-term after-effects of abuse. One such effect is difficulty in handing… Read More

Conflict # 55 – How to Beat the Bully

Bullying is nothing new, and you may know such a story, yourself. If so, please feel free to contact me about it. Meanwhile, I’d like to share a story about how one 12 year-old boy took care of… Read More

Conflict # 54 – Why We Fear Conflict

People avoid conflict for lots of reasons, all having to do with anxiety – the fear that something bad could happen. For such folks, the anxiety leads to negative self-talk. Here are some examples: I’m in trouble. I… Read More

Conflict # 49 – Double Your Treasure

In my endeavor to help people with problems, I use something which I call the “Two-Track” approach: Track 1 and Track 2. The reason for this approach is simple. Everyone who comes for help says something like, “I… Read More

Conflict # 48 – Prevention

Group-against-group conflicts have existed throughout history. They are imprinted onto our world, as a color-fast dye becomes a permanent part of a fabric. Some have been resolved, but, as mentioned in a recent article, other conflicts appear impossible… Read More

Conflict # 45 – The Impact of Trauma

Psychological trauma has far-reaching effects. So that we’re on the same page, let’s be clear: what is trauma, actually? Psychological trauma is a condition, in response to a past event(s) that leave the victim with painful feelings, memories,… Read More