Conflict # 44 – Trust Your Gut

“Things are not always what they appear to be. People are not always who they appear to be.” The conflicts we encounter with others are often a result of one or all of the parties not seeing things… Read More

Conflict # 41 – The Trouble with ‘Why’

Years ago, I provided counseling to a fifteen year-old boy; call him “Skip”. His parents, “Chad” and “Juanita”, put him into our treatment center to address his anger, depression, bad behavior and poor school work. A few months… Read More

Conflict # 39 – Carrot or Stick?

Shall we assume you’re interested in improving your conflict management skills? If so, and if you’re honest, you have already concluded that something about your behavior and attitude has to change. Right? Good. Let’s go on, then. Think… Read More

Conflict # 37 – Fight, Flight, Freeze

When conflict arises do you fight, flee, or freeze up? If you fight, do you … – Lash out verbally – Get physical – Use sarcasm – Plot your revenge – Involve other people as allies – Demand… Read More

Conflict # 33 – The Last Straw

“John”, forty years of age and the father of one son, sought help because his wife, “Jane”, was planning to divorce him. This didn’t come out of the blue; it was preceded by years of hurtful and discouraging… Read More

Conflict # 29 – Letting Go

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – from Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy Of the many influences you’ve experienced through your life, what would you say has had the greatest… Read More

Conflict # 25 – Avoidance

Since reasonable people don’t enjoy rough personal conflict, they tend to avoid it when possible. They pick their battles carefully. I mention “rough conflict” as opposed to respectful disagreements. There’s no harm in having a civil discussion of… Read More

Conflict # 21 – Unrealistic Expectations

“Women marry men, expecting that they will change. Men marry women, hoping they won’t.” – Author unknown From early childhood we learn to think about what’s next; the next moment, the next day, week, year. We develop expectations…. Read More

Conflict # 20 – The Internal Struggle

Two people, Jason and Justin, each with opposite life situations. Jason hates his job. He is struggling financially. His home life is in tatters. Justin has a passion for his profession, enjoys a happy relationship and loves his… Read More

Conflict # 10 – Triggers

We use the word “trigger” to mean something that stimulates a knee-jerk reaction. It can come from the environment, like other people’s behavior; that’s an external trigger. Or it can come from inside, such as a physical pain… Read More