Change: Awareness & Belief

People only change when the discomfort of their current situation is greater than the fear of change.

One belief that all therapy clients share in common is that something must change. If they can accept the fact that they can’t change anything but their own behaviors, thoughts and attitudes, then comes the next question:  what do I need to change about myself?

But … not so fast. Before saying what one needs to change, two other questions must be answered: Do I believe that change is possible? Am I ready and willing to change?

An example: the smoker who wants to quit; or, so he says! In many cases the stated desire to quit is not sincere. Or, they only wish that someone, using hypnosis or some other mysterious technique, could make that happen. They do not realize that they must participate in making the change.

Does that client actually believe it’s possible? Is he ready and willing to make the change?

And then there are other questions that should be addressed. If smoking provides relaxation, how will I relax without tobacco? Do I have to stay away from places where people smoke, such as bars certain kinds of clubs? 

Now, back to awareness. When considering making a change, it is always wise to think about the positive and the negative outcomes of changing. This is true of any big decision: marrying, having a child, choosing a career, etc. Also, it is important to consider the cost of not making the change. And if one decides not to change, what is the benefit of that?

Returning to the need for belief, when a person is having trouble making a change, one factor is that deep down inside, there lingers a self-defeating belief based on a history of bad experiences. Abuse, loss, betrayal, neglect, can all play a part in this person’s adoption of many negative beliefs. Further, that the negative beliefs have blocked his path to success and happiness.

That person will benefit from being aware of her negative beliefs, and then choose to seek help.  But even before that, there comes yet another question: if she has realized her problem, does she know that help is possible, and that she can eliminate the blockage and free herself?

If this little article speaks to you and if you realize something must change … and if you are truly ready, feel free to call  219-309-3928 for a brief no-cost consultation. It would be an honor to be of service.

For more thoughts click Conflict # 20 – The Internal Struggle

Thanks for reading!