Conflict # 28 – Attitude and Flexibility

Successful negotiation occurs when neither party is 100% happy, but both are satisfied. When you apply this principle you’ll notice its positive impact. How to get started? First, check your attitude.

The word “attitude” is interesting; today’s generation uses the word to denote a bad attitude. As in, “Don’t gimme no attitude.”

But attitude is not just one thing. It’s your emotional state, your mental state – whether your mind is obsessing, racing, blank, muddled, or calm – your thoughts, your core beliefs about right and wrong, your expectations about how the conflict should work out, and your physical state.

When you address a conflict, ask yourself: Is my attitude positive or negative? Could my emotions and my ego get in the way? What do I need? What does the other party need? What am I willing to give? How do I expect the other person to behave? How do I expect this to work out?

Base your expectations not on the way things “should” be, but on your knowledge of the other person’s past behavior and knowledge of yourself. Ideals (how things should be) are important. There is a place for idealism in this life, and you’re free to apply it in conflicts. I argue that the realistic, practical approach works better.

Now, to the question of flexibility. It is essential. In the first place, when conflict starts, emotions rise up and chaos can take over. People may say and do things you don’t expect. You’re taken by surprise and then react badly. The communication breaks down and you’re done. In the second place, accept the fact that you can’t have it all. When you accept that, you adapt, you take what you can get, and you don’t fuss when you have to give something up.

Now, will it be easy to make the necessary changes? It depends on your attitude and motivation. If you’re in the habit of addressing conflict with a negative attitude: a rigid idea of how it’s ‘supposed’ to work out … an unrealistic expectation of the other person … the refusal to give an inch, I can help you take on the attitude that will help you adapt and succeed. Please call 219-309-3928 for a free consultation. I’d be honored to talk to you.

Thanks for reading!