Conflict # 37 – Fight, Flight, Freeze
When conflict arises do you fight, flee, or freeze up?
If you fight, do you …
– Lash out verbally
– Get physical
– Use sarcasm
– Plot your revenge
– Involve other people as allies
– Demand that your opponent says, “Uncle”
– Turn it around on the other person
– Launch a pre-emptive strike
If you flee, remember this: flight is avoidance (see my blog post, Avoidance), and it assumes many forms. Do you …
– Use faulty logic to win the argument
– Minimize the problem
– Make light of the problem
– Distract yourself with a legitimate or unimportant task
– Distract the other person with a non-issue, called a “red herring”.
– Make up a story about the conflict to confuse the other person, and cause him to question himself; this is called “gaslighting”.
– Use so-called ‘expert’ language to prove the other person wrong or ignorant, to make the other person admit defeat. This seems like fighting, but it’s actually a way of avoiding facing the real problem. This is “mystification”.
– Mediate, trying to help everyone get along without actually addressing the problem.
– Use entertainments like video games and social media to avoid the problem
– Numb yourself with drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, work, etc.
And then, there’s freezing. Mental paralysis. Confusion. Not knowing what to do or say.
Your strategy may vary based on whom you’re facing. If you find yourself caught in these habits, and you’d like to make a change, please reach out for a free consultation. The number is 219-309-3928. I’d be honored to work with you.
Thanks for reading!