Attention Hogs

The term, “attention hog”, refers to someone who seeks attention inappropriately – too often and too loud – sometimes quietly, but always in ways that sap the energy of others. Consider the following ways to think about these people.

What attention hogs do

• Dominate conversations and make “all about me”
• Escalate behavior to stay noticed
  Exaggerated stories, bigger reactions, or dramatic emotional swings.
• Always expect and demand validation
• Create drama
  Gossiping, spreading rumors, pitting people against each other

Why some people become attention-seeking

• Low self-esteem or insecurity
• Feeling ignored in other parts of life
• Personality traits (e.g., high extroversion, emotional intensity)
• Desire for control and lack of empathy

How to deal with an attention hog

• Set boundaries gently but firmly
• Never react or respond to an attention-seeker right away
• Redirect the conversation to others or to shared topics
• Do not speak unless you have something to say that will benefit you

Attention-seeking is a form of manipulation. In my book, YOU CAN WORK IN IT OUT – Skills and Wisdom for Conflict Resolution in Relationships, you will find user-friendly methods for dealing with manipulators, such as attention hogs. If you are bothered by such a person in your life and you would consider working on this problem in person, please feel free to call 219-309-3928 for a short consultation prior to making an appointment. I’d be honored to be of service.

For more thoughts click Conflict # 34 Manipulation

Thanks for reading!