Conflict # 41 – The Trouble with ‘Why’

Years ago, I provided counseling to a fifteen year-old boy; call him “Skip”. His parents, “Chad” and “Juanita”, put him into our treatment center to address his anger, depression, bad behavior and poor school work. A few months… Read More

Conflict # 40 – Looking Good

You probably know that having “a short fuse” refers to someone who is quickly angered. Since anger fuels conflict, we might wonder, what fuels anger. The answer? Lots of things. In this case let’s look at the mother… Read More

Conflict # 39 – Carrot or Stick?

Shall we assume you’re interested in improving your conflict management skills? If so, and if you’re honest, you have already concluded that something about your behavior and attitude has to change. Right? Good. Let’s go on, then. Think… Read More

Conflict # 38 – Roadblocks

Kristie and Dustin argue daily. About everything. Money. Child-rearing. Family relations. They fuss and fume, never get anywhere, and can’t figure out why. You know Murphy’s Law. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong. Every conflict… Read More

Conflict # 37 – Fight, Flight, Freeze

When conflict arises do you fight, flee, or freeze up? If you fight, do you … – Lash out verbally – Get physical – Use sarcasm – Plot your revenge – Involve other people as allies – Demand… Read More

Conflict # 36 – Manipulation, part 2

Have you heard of the classic comic movie, “You Can’t Cheat An Honest Man”? The title is actually an old saying, and it’s generally true. Con artists, the ultimate manipulators, succeed by making their victims feel special or… Read More

Conflict # 35 – Name that Conflict

Having led conflict resolution workshops since 2004, one common problem has popped up more often than all the others. That is the failure to identify the conflict in a way that could lead to a solution. As has… Read More

Conflict # 34 – Manipulation

In conflict scenarios manipulation is commonplace. Manipulators lie and deceive you. They threaten, trick or trap you. They try to convince you that you’re wrong, crazy or stupid. They push your buttons in order to make you react,… Read More

Conflict # 33 – The Last Straw

“John”, forty years of age and the father of one son, sought help because his wife, “Jane”, was planning to divorce him. This didn’t come out of the blue; it was preceded by years of hurtful and discouraging… Read More

Conflict # 32 – Preparation, Part 2

A young couple, married for less than a year, came for counseling. In our first session – which turned out to be our last session – I got the sense that these two hardly knew each other. They… Read More