Conflict # 60 – The Instigator

I recently received requests for couples counseling from two women, both around 35 to 40 years of age – call them “Tiffany” and “Brittany”. Tiffany has three children from a previous relationship. She also has a one year-old… Read More

Conflict # 59 – Abuse & Fear

I’ve provided counseling to numerous victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Their courage and openness have allowed them to provide great insights into the short-term and long-term after-effects of abuse. One such effect is difficulty in handing… Read More

Conflict # 58 – Encouragement

In Conflict #56 and #57 you may have read about reinforcing the small helpful changes made by the person you’re fussing with. Once you’ve decided to do that, it works best when you do it right. And there’s… Read More

Conflict # 57 – Lend a Hand, Part 2

In the Lend a Hand article, you can see the importance of reinforcing small improvements made by the other person. Unfortunately, some people don’t get it. In fact some clients, mainly male clients, have said that it’s silly… Read More

Conflict # 56 – Lend a Hand

In many relationship conflicts one or both of the people are so stressed and exhausted by the fighting, arguing and name-calling, that they both want quick relief. Each one blames the other, and in cases of extreme stubbornness,… Read More

Conflict # 55 – How to Beat the Bully

Bullying is nothing new, and you may know such a story, yourself. If so, please feel free to contact me about it. Meanwhile, I’d like to share a story about how one 12 year-old boy took care of… Read More

Conflict # 54 – Why We Fear Conflict

People avoid conflict for lots of reasons, all having to do with anxiety – the fear that something bad could happen. For such folks, the anxiety leads to negative self-talk. Here are some examples: I’m in trouble. I… Read More

Conflict # 53 – Baggage

The baggage we carry – that is, our unresolved personal issues – has the potential to affect every aspect of our lives. In addition to wreaking havoc with relationships, unfinished business can affect workplace interactions, spending habits, driving… Read More

Conflict # 52 – Respect for Emotions

The names in the following story are fictitious; the situation, however, is factual. Joe and Mary, married with two young children, came for help due to major conflict with his father. Joe’s parents, Dan and Carol, had never… Read More

Conflict # 51 – Empathy

“Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” Once upon a time in the 1960’s, George Wallace served as the Governor of Alabama. A racist through and through, he bitterly fought to prevent integration… Read More