A Hole in the Heart

Not everyone is blessed with the love and protection of parents who stay together. Children deprived of that special kind of security will respond in their own unique ways.  Some kids raised by a single parent will do… Read More

Learn From Others

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana “A fool might learn from his own experience, but the wise person learns from the experience of others.” – paraphrased from Otto von Bismarck… Read More

Dump Your Garbage

Suppose your home was filled with huge plastic bags and trash cans overflowing with garbage that had been building up throughout your life. Thinking about it now, you can imagine the stench. But if you were in that… Read More

Building a Relationship

Imagine that building a relationship is like building something material. A house, a car, a business or career. Kind of weird, isn’t it? To actually give serious thought to building a relationship on a solid foundation? Who does… Read More

Platitudes

Don’t you just love it when people use the same old tired sayings that everyone else does? What’s even worse is the occasions when they pull them out as you’re going through a tough time. A loved one… Read More

Who Cares?

“It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Variously attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln and others Do you ever have trouble figuring out what to say,… Read More

Mistakes Are Friends, Part 2

Albert Einstein was not only a brilliant scientist, but also had a wonderful way with words, and is often quoted. One shining example: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we… Read More

What Counseling is NOT

Through many years of therapy/counseling practice, I’ve heard clients’ stories – not just about their problems, but also about their previous counselors – some of them downright shocking. Because their experiences had such an impact on me, I… Read More

Does Counseling Really Help?

Many years ago, in casual conversation, I mentioned to someone who had been through a nasty divorce, that I was preparing to become a counselor. She smirked ever so slightly, and said she didn’t think counseling was worth… Read More

Quitting Smoking

learn to quit valparaiso

Tales from the Smoke Zone One of my clients, who came to me wanting to quit smoking, recently used an interesting phrase to describe herself: “I love myself as a non-smoker”. That got me thinking. This lady, now… Read More