Conflict # 18 – Differing Styles

Jack and Jill are having a hard time resolving a conflict. Not only that, but they also disagree about how and when to address it. Jill thinks quickly. She wants to address the issue and move on. But Jack needs time to think about it.

This is getting complicated. Jill might conclude that Jack is stalling or avoiding the problem. Jack may feel pressured and confused. After a series of misunderstandings, both of them may fall into the cycle of mutual blame and labeling, which I describe in my post, “The Blame Game”. Blaming and labeling create yet another roadblock, and the problem continues.

Neither one is right or wrong. Even so, these folks will have more problems if they don’t adjust to their opposing ways of handling conflict.

How to make that adjustment? Both people must agree to a new “rule”.

When one of the them is not ready to talk, the other person agrees to give him or her the time he or she needs. And this gift of time must be given graciously, not impatiently. The person who needs time agrees to do whatever it takes to prepare to address the problem, and states a specific time when they will talk. That gift to the relationship should be given without dawdling or stalling.

This kind of clear communication opens up and clarifies the situation. It helps you to avoid jumping to conclusions and assuming you know what the other person is up to.

When we accept and tolerate our differences and make the right adjustments with a caring heart, we find that resolving conflicts comes more easily.

If you’re interested in knowing more about conflict resolution within relationships, please feel free to reach out. Just call 219-309-3928 for a free consultation.

Thanks for reading!