Finding the Real You

“No one ever lay on his death bed and thought, ‘I wish I’d spent more time at work.’”

If your favorite pastimes are something like making lots of money, “hanging out”, being a couch potato (or couch zucchini), drinking, drugging and partying, this article is not for you. This material is directed at people who wish to know themselves and to experience  depth, purpose and connection with others. 

The wonderfully talented singer/songwriter, Peggy Lee, nearing the end of her life, wrote a song which she entitled, “Is That All There Is?”  In other words … fame, fortune, glitter, several marriages and … that’s it?

If you prefer a life filled with a sense of purpose and meaning, it will be wise to consider that, as you live day to day, rather than waiting till the end.

A commonly held belief is that our non-physical being – our soul, consciousness, psyche, or whatever you may call it – is not just one thing. It consists of at least two entities. One of them is the part of us that seeks physical survival. The other part is the higher self, if you wish. That is, the self that seeks contact with the eternal, the sacred, the infinite. 

In other words there is a part of us that is purely self-seeking, and another part that respects the needs, welfare and rights of others, and wishes to connected with them compassionately. 

If we only exist to serve our physical needs and our basic animal nature, we never experience anything beyond mere pleasure or pain. Such a life is empty and meaningless, regardless of riches or accomplishment. This story has been told countless times in novels, films, plays and in song. 

If we reject that way of living, and, instead, want to pursue a life filled with meaning, purpose and connection, how do we go about it?

Let’s consider Socrates’s dictum, “Know yourself.” Know your innate gifts, your weaknesses and strengths, your personality and your character. Accept yourself as you are, while also wishing to add to your knowledge and your wisdom. 

We can know ourselves in many ways. Through work, we know ourselves. Through our successes and our failures, we learn about ourselves. But these experiences only teach us about our capacities on the level of survival, accomplishment, and have little or nothing to do with developing the higher self. They are important  for our well-being and for providing for our families, to be sure.

To know ourselves on a higher level – in relating to the side of us that believes there is more to life than the physical – we must put our attention elsewhere. 

One wise teaching says that we know our real, higher selves in at least two ways. First, through relationship with people and other living things. Second, in silence. The first is obvious. In relationships we learn our capacity to empathize, to give, to share, to cherish connection. The second, silence, is not so well known, even though many people know about meditation. 

Do you ever experience silence? Even when you go to bed, do you need sound to help you fall asleep? Does silence make you uncomfortable? Do you know that in silence you can learn a great deal about your real self, your higher self, the one that goes on living after the body dies?

If you wish to expand your self-knowledge and to experience purpose, meaning and connection, and you would like to explore a path toward that kind of living, please feel free to reach out. It would be an honor to be part of your journey. The number is (219) 309-3928.

For some additional thoughts click Who Are You?

Thanks for reading!