A teaching in the New Testament: before a king goes to war, he must count the cost of waging it. This teaching is also found in “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu.
Similarly, a teaching from the famous psychiatrist, Milton Erickson, a brilliant healer: with every decision we make, a cost is attached to it.
A common source of personal problems is the failure to think ahead, in order to understand the consequences of important decisions. In such cases a person makes choices based on emotion, an impulse or a hunch. Having unsafe sex, getting into bad relationships, using drugs or alcohol, buying things they can’t afford, etc.
And yet, even when one takes time to make a big decision, one may not fully understand the long-term costs of that decision. It is not unusual for people to be blinded by the expectation of money, pleasure, status, fame or the illusion that another person will give refuge or rescue.
In August of 2022, the world remembered the tragic death of England’s Princess Diana. Years before, it had become public knowledge that Diana was extremely unhappy. It was reported that she developed an eating disorder. She felt stifled and unable to be truly herself, having to be “on” all the time. Further, she must have known that her husband, Prince Charles, loved another woman.
It is unlikely that she could have predicted her husband would be untrue. It is equally unlikely that she could have anticipated the cost of being front and center on the world stage. Was she naive? Was she convinced she must accept Charles’s proposal? Was she unable to think for herself? It may not be important to know the reasons for her inability to see ahead, and to prepare herself for this complex life of luxury combined with constriction and immorality (on her husband’s part).
However, applying this story to yourself … if you have made choices that led to undesired consequences, it may be important for you to understand the sources of your decisions.
Are you in a tough spot, and are you honest enough to acknowledge your part in it? Maybe it’s time to re-think how and why you make any important decision. If you are not sure how to go about it, a little bit of personal coaching could be in order. If you’re curious to know whether this could work for you, please feel free to call. The number is (219) 309-3928. Once you have learned how to count the cost before you make any serious decision, your life will improve dramatically. It would be an honor to play a role in that.
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Thanks for reading!