“Chill out! Get a grip! Snap out of it!” We might hear others say it to us, we might say it to others, or to ourselves. Nearly all of us, at some might or other, might feel stressed out, overwhelmed or flooded with undesired emotion.

At such times we want to get back to feeling comfortable, balanced and clear-headed. So, what do we do? Use alcohol or drugs? Clean the house top to bottom? Go to the driving range and hit golf balls for thirty minutes?

In short, we need to know how to stop the out-of-control discomfort and calm down. We will be wise to learn to do this for ourselves by the use of proven methods. The benefit is that we feel liberated and empowered when we successfully manage our stresses. It’s good to know that we need not always rely on medication or intervention from others, even thought there are times when that kind of help may be appropriate.

We are talking about self-regulation. Now, self-regulation is not something we think about or something we do purposely every day.  This is a skill that can be taught and which can be learned by virtually anyone. It involves the following features

Awareness of what you are feeling physically 

Verbalizing the emotion you are feeling

Awareness of what you are thinking

Awareness of how your mind is working – racing, blank, obsessing, confused

Awareness of what you are doing – are you react mindlessly?

Self-regulation involves evaluating what is within your control, and what is not. You notice that you may be thinking and/or doing something that is not helping. At that moment you can consciously choose to change that behavior or thought.

You use specific calming techniques to help your body feel relaxed – rather than tense – to shift the focus of your brain and to gain a healthy perspective on the current situation.

Do you experience problems because you have trouble letting go of stress, anger, worry, over-thinking, dealing with difficult people, or any other issue that knocks you off balance? If so, there’s good news. Help is available – that is, reliable help, which employs evidence-based practices, proven to help people make self-regulation a life-long habit. If you think that working with a professional would be a good fit for you, please do not hesitate to reach out.  The phone number is (219) 309-3928. I would be honored to be of service.

For more thoughts click here Emotional Intelligence.

Thanks for reading!