Conflict # 42 – Failed Attempts
You try to resolve a conflict, only to fail time after time. You and the other person go round and round, and never get anywhere. It’s the same old story. What is going on with this?!
Could it be that you’re stuck in the ‘he said-she said’ dilemma? You and the other person argue about what was said or done, your opinions and beliefs are at odds, you dig in, hold your positions, and never come to resolution. Frustration grows, and in its wake, a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness.
If this goes on, the relationship will surely erode, and before you know it, it’s in bad shape.
If you’ve followed my previous posts, you have an idea why this happens. Just to add a little more to the mix, here’s another idea for your consideration.
Rarely do two people see a conflict from the same vantage point. Even at a crime scene, two or more eyewitnesses may disagree on what actually took place. For that reason alone, focusing on the subject matter of the conflict is a waste of time and energy. It never ends well.
Instead, think about the manner in which you and the other person are communicating. Are you making multiple mistakes while trying to work through a conflict? Multi-tasking? Interrupting? Not listening? Preparing your answer? Defending yourself? Criticizing and blaming? Avoiding? Attacking?
Changing bad habits is easier said than done; let’s face it – like most of us, you’ve probably been getting it wrong for years. But it’s possible – IF you’re motivated, and IF it matters enough to you.
I assure you, everyone can learn to get it right. It’s been done before by plain old, ordinary folks. If you’re curious, feel free to reach out for a free consultation. The number is 219-309-3928. I’ll be more than glad to talk to you.
Thanks for reading!