Conflict # 47 – “One Down” Wins

A big ego can block conflict resolution. Now, just to be clear, in this case “big ego” refers to the need be on top, to be the center of attention, the “winner”. So, how can we approach such a person when we’re trying to resolve a conflict? If you’re habit has been to butt heads, read on.

In a previous article you may have read that the humble attitude is far more effective in promoting harmony. And you may agree.

But humility does not come easily. What’s hard about it? Maybe it’s the belief that being humble is just a little bit dangerous. So, it’s a worry. A worry is a kind of anxiety. And anxiety is a kind of fear.

In another article, did you happen to read about the idea that fear is the big emotion that underlies all unwanted emotions? How do you think the big ego might respond to that idea? Right. You may know someone like that.

When you think of humility as it relates to you, what comes to mind? Weakness? Letting others take advantage of you? Losing? Are you reluctant to take that position when you’re in conflict with someone?

If so, check this out. If your TV has a vintage channel, look for the 1970’s crime drama, “Columbo”. Brilliantly played by Peter Falk, in every episode police Lt. Columbo uncovers the murderer by going “one down” in relation to the prime suspect. No attempt to dominate or intimidate. Instead, his respectful, self-controlled demeanor confuses and frustrates the suspect. Eventually the bad guy trips himself up, and can’t figure out how Columbo did it.

Now, let’s be real. Watching TV won’t change your life. But it may give you an idea of just one little thing you could do differently when trying to handle a conflict. Not sure how to get started? Please call 219-309-3928 for a free consultation.

I’ve been coaching conflict resolution since 2004, and would be glad to work with you.

Thanks for reading!