Conflict, Part 5 – So You’re the Expert?
When you try to resolve conflicts with another person, do you believe yourself to be her equal? Or do you act like the top dog?
Let’s say you think you’re top dog, for the sake of argument. As top dog, you believe you have the right and the ability to dominate the other person. You might do that in a number of ways. Let’s look at some of them.
– Preaching. I am right, you are wrong, I know how things are supposed to be and how you’re supposed to act, and this is how you should live your life.
– Lecturing. “How many times do I have to tell you? But you never listen, it just goes in one ear and out the other. So, I’m going to repeat it again and again until you get, you understand? Do not ever _______________________.”
– Advising. “I’ll tell you what your problem is.” “You need to get some help, because there’s something seriously wrong with you.” – I learned long ago that people don’t want advice, and that may even be true when they ask for it.
– Bullying, Threatening and Ultimatums.
You may think that when you ‘win’, the conflict is resolved. And it may be resolved for you. But what about the other person? One-sided resolution is no resolution at all.
When two people do not have equal power or influence in the relationship, resolving conflict is very hard, if not impossible. Equality must be achieved, so that everyone feels they have a voice and they will be respected.
If you’re experiencing the stress of poorly managed conflict, feel free to pick up the phone and call for a no-cost consultation. It’s 219-309-3928.
Thanks for reading!