In 2004 my colleagues and I began presenting a series of workshops for families in order to help them get along.
Anger management was the subject of one of those workshops. And interestingly, we, the counselors, learned a lot about anger management, just as our clients did.
I’d like to share some of this with you.
Anger is not necessarily bad. It’s a normal reaction to frustration.
Anger can be a useful emotion, and can motivate us to be productive and to do good. Some people use it, too, to help them feel safe, if they feel their environment is unfriendly.
Being angry is not right or wrong. It’s an emotion, like other emotions, and it pops up as if it has a mind of its own. Anger can’t be controlled while it’s taking place, but it can be managed, so that expressing it and feeling it doesn’t harm oneself or others.
There is such a thing as righteous anger, which is an appropriate reaction to cruelty, injustice and unfairness, and comes from love of people.
“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” – Aristotle
What Aristotle said over two thousand years ago remains true today.
An important first step in managing your anger is to accept it as a reality, even if it’s embarrassing or for some other reason you’d rather just avoid dealing with it. Accepting that it’s real doesn’t mean saying it’s okay and it’s doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It only means that you’re no longer denying it, and that you have the courage to be honest about it.
Suppose you’ve had the guts to admit you have an anger problem. Now what do you do? Do you believe there’s a solution? If the answer is yes, go forward to the next step: do you believe you can uncover the solution? Do you desire to uncover the solution? Do you believe that help is actually available and that you can be helped by another person? Are you ready to ask for help? Do you know and care how your life could be affected if you don’t get help?
If you’ve answered yes to all of these questions, you can get to work. All you need to do is reach out. I’ll be there. The phone number is 219-309-3928, and a free, brief consultation can be yours.
Thanks for reading!