Conflict # 21 – Unrealistic Expectations
“Women marry men, expecting that they will change. Men marry women, hoping they won’t.” – Author unknown
From early childhood we learn to think about what’s next; the next moment, the next day, week, year. We develop expectations. Kids learn to expect a certain order at day care: play time, nap time, milk and cookies. When things are done out of order, some kids become agitated. As adults we expect that hard work is rewarded. But occasionally something else is rewarded; like being related to the boss.
You may have heard the saying, “Change is the only constant in this world.” Talk to some older folks; people who’ve been through tough times. Ask them, “Has your life turned out as you thought it would? Were your expectations met?” Their answers will get your attention.
Now, we all live day by day, harboring various expectations, some reasonable and others, not so much. To keep things simple, I suggest we look at two categories of expectations. First, expectations that make sense, and those that don’t. In other words, realistic expectations: expecting the sun to rise in the east. Secondly, unrealistic expectations: like expecting that people will always do the right thing, given the chance.
To be fair, it must be said that in some cases it’s right to be unreasonable. Through history, we see that great successes arose by defying what seemed realistic and by insisting on trying something new. We’ll leave that topic for another time.
So, take a look at yourself. Have you made decisions based on realistic expectations, or not? Has your life turned out the way you expected? Have you had any surprises?
If you’re struggling, could you be holding on to an expectation that is not based in reality? Look at my post, “Refusing to Accept Reality”. You’ll see the connection right away. But don’t worry, there’s good news! If you have been suffering because you haven’t been able to give up something that could never be realized, there’s hope. This can change. You can use a power within you; a positive and creative power you may not know about, in order to make that change. It’s not magic or sorcery, and it’s not dangerous, illegal or immoral. I can help you find that power … if you’re really motivated … if it’s important enough to you.
Now, you might already have started to expect that re-thinking your expectations could help you cope with a problem that has seemed impossible. And you might be right. You can find out easily enough, by calling 219-309-3928 for a free consultation. I’d be happy to talk to you.
Thanks for reading!