Conflict # 25 – Avoidance

Since reasonable people don’t enjoy rough personal conflict, they tend to avoid it when possible. They pick their battles carefully. I mention “rough conflict” as opposed to respectful disagreements. There’s no harm in having a civil discussion of opposing views. You agree to disagree, and the relationship stays civil.

However, in personal relationships, regularly avoiding conflict creates problems. As you can see in previous articles, habitual avoidance can produce resentment and anger; and, like a pressure cooker without a steam release valve, the emotions eventually explode.

In short, I’m talking about two kinds of avoidance. The first one, which is the wise choice, based on reasoning, versus the unwise choice, which is based on fear of the consequences.

The problem is worsened when you don’t know how to express yourself and you get tongue-tied. The frustration escalates and you feel confused and agitated. Your mind goes blank. Your body gets tense, creating more anxiety. Maybe you begin to panic. And this vicious cycle keeps the avoidance going.

So, it seems clear that avoiding conflict because of fear is not a good idea.

Fortunately, there’s a remedy for the habitual avoidance of conflict. Also fortunately, I can help you start using the remedy right away. When you apply yourself seriously, you will notice in a surprisingly short time, that you can feel calm and confident about addressing conflict. Reach out for a free consultation by calling 219-309-3928. I’d love to work with you.

Thanks for reading!