Conflict # 57 – Lend a Hand, Part 2
In the Lend a Hand article, you can see the importance of reinforcing small improvements made by the other person.
Unfortunately, some people don’t get it. In fact some clients, mainly male clients, have said that it’s silly to praise an adult like that. They call it “coddling” or “babying” the other person. They won’t do it. Now, that may only have to do with their personal relationships, or it may also extend to all relationships. That same person may be great at encouraging his softball teammates or co-workers. Or he may not be able to acknowledge the good work of anyone in any situation.
The problem is, it’s next to impossible to change bad habits without the benefit of positive feedback. Imagine being a kid in school, struggling with some subject. Your teacher and your parents tell you to work harder. You do so, and … what do you know? You get an “A” on your next test. If your teacher or parents don’t praise your hard work, will you keep working hard?
So, how about you? Are you stingy with praise? Maybe you grew up never hearing such words. Thus, you have no idea how to give admiration and encouragement. Or, are you oblivious when the other person has done something better than they did before? If any of these is true, you’re only making it harder for yourself and the other person.
I’d like to encourage you right now. It doesn’t have to be that way. Regardless of your age or your life experience, if your relationship is important enough to you, you can learn to encourage, to praise and to reinforce other people’s good behavior. If you’re curious, please call for a free consultation, at 219-309-3928. I’d be honored to talk to you.
Thanks for reading!