Conflict # 8 – Load Up & Defend?
Have you ever been in an argument or a tense conversation, and while the other person was talking, you began to think of your answer? Of course! We’ve all done that.
When you’re trying to work out a problem with someone, let the other person have his/her say. Then, it’s important to wait patiently till that person has finished talking. Do not prepare your answer while you’re listening. The very instant you start to do that, you are no longer paying attention. If you think you’ll forget what you intend to say, jot it down and wait.
This can be difficult when the other person says something hurtful, offensive or false. When this happens, our feelings may be hurt, and we want to defend ourselves or prove the person wrong. It’s a natural protective impulse; we all do it. But not all defensive impulses lead to good outcomes.
The better way to go about this – as I said in a previous article – is to be in a calm state before you begin talking. Then it’s equally important to know how to stay calm, when you start feeling agitated.
Most people have no idea how to do that. But, the good news is – Ta-Da! – I can teach it to you. It’s easier than you might think. All you need is an open mind, belief in yourself and a strong desire to get better at communicating and handling conflict.
Give me a call for a free consultation at 219-309-3928. I’d be tickled to work with you.
Thanks for reading!