Conflict, Part 7 – Be Wise When you Share
We all need someone to talk to, when we need to vent our frustrations. It’s not healthy to keep these things to ourselves. But when we share our burdens, we can also be wise in how we do that and with whom.
Many of my clients tell me that their conflicts are worsened in one particular way. The other person in the conflict talks about it with people who are not directly part of it. This can happen for a couple, at work, in our social lives and too often with parents and kids.
It’s not unusual. Let’s say a couple of parents are having a hard time with one of their kids. The youngster may have behaved badly at a family gathering. Mom or dad feels the need to explain or apologize to a family member, the conversation goes on and the parent may reveal too much about the child. The the child finds out, becomes angry, and no longer trusts mom or dad.
Regardless of the situation, the age or the relationships of the people in conflict, only people who are party to it should try to resolve it. In a family setting, if the conflict affects everyone, everyone should participate. If you choose to bring in a friend, family member or another mediator, everyone should agree on that.
The next time you have a problem with someone, the most effective and fairest way to go about fixing it is to be direct. Go to the person privately and suggest that you try to work it out. Look at my earlier articles about how to begin, and go from there.
Resolving conflict can seem hard, even impossible at times. And, yes, there are conflicts that may never be fixed; but the majority of conflicts can be resolved, if you don’t give up.
If you’d like to know more, please reach out for a no-cost consultation, by calling 219-309-3928. I’d be honored to be of service.
Thanks for reading!