As therapist and program director at a teen treatment center, over a period of thirteen years I led thousands of group sessions. Located in northwest Indiana, we played host to hundreds of kids from nearby Gary and Chicago. Of the many kids who came through this program, only a handful came from intact families: the biological mother and father married and still together.
In the racial/ethnic cultures of inner city kids, couples don’t marry. In that world, marriage is as old-fashioned, useless and out of date as cursive writing. In fact to them, marriage is laughable, and so the vast majority of these kids grow up without a father, or even a father figure, in the home.
In one group session, composed entirely of inner city kids, all of them from broken homes, I posed the question: “What is the biggest problem facing kids today?”
The universal response: ‘We have no guidance; nobody has our back.’ Plenty has been written on this topic. I’m not about to reinvent the wheel.
In talking about stress, just imagine how hard it must be to go through life believing that you’re on our own in this dangerous world. How hard it must be to find motivation, a purpose for living, when there’s no one in your life about whom you can say, “I want to make him proud of me.”
Everyone needs guidance. Champion athletes and award-winning entertainers need continuous coaching. World leaders look to trusted advisors. Successful people understand this truth: no one can go it alone. If you’re not accepting guidance – maybe because you never had it growing up – are you creating your own stress?
If you reach out to me in search of guidance – the kind of guidance that doesn’t judge you – you might discover that it’s easier and more pleasant than you expect. A brief no-cost consult is available by calling 219 309 3928.
Thanks for reading!