Your Past

Do you dwell on your past? Do you ever feel regret, guilt, shame or any other disturbing emotion when you remember things you’ve done? If that is true, do those feelings get in the way of your happiness?

Anyone can fall prey to this self-defeating thinking habit: the habit of obsessing, ruminating or brooding. For some, it may be a brief experience, it may go on for a short while and then be gone; for others, it may be a greater problem.

Let’s look at what’s going on in the mind when we focus on the past in this way. First, we can take a moment to clarify what we mean by “the past”. What is it, actually? Is it a thing? Does it actually exist? Or is it nothing more than a collection of memories? And when we remember something, are we certain we are remembering it as it really happened? Or can our memory play tricks on us?

If you think of the past as something that is as real as the words you are now reading, how does that affect you? If, rather, you think of the past as something that does not exist, except in memory, what is it? It’s nothing. 

However, because we remember facts and consequences and emotions, we can learn from the past. In fact those who do not learn from the past learn only from their own experiences. This is unfortunate, since so many other learning resources are available to us. It would be a great loss for anyone to rely on one’s own experiences as the sole teacher of life’s great lessons.

Now, back to memory. What is it? Well, for one thing, it’s the place where the past – if there really is such a thing – exists. So, if we want to be free of the self-defeating habits of ruminating, obsessing or brooding over our messed-up past, we must understand how memory affects us. And, we might do well to wonder whether we can influence the way our memory affects us, so that recalling hurts or failures no longer has the capacity to damage our chances for happiness. 

Do you wonder if this is possible? Are you saying, “You can’t change the past?” Do you think it’s kind of crazy to even consider that you can do anything about the way you think about your past? The fact is that therapy really can help you make that happen! That is what trauma therapy is all about.

If your chances for happiness are hampered by the tendency to brood, obsess or ruminate over past mistakes, failures or hurts, I assure you that this can change. I know this because i have seen it happen in my office, and lots of solid research studies have proved it, as well. If you’re curious and you’d like to know more, please feel free to call for a brief no-cost consultation. The number is 219-309-3928. It would be an honor to be of service.

For more information click Guilt and Shame

Thanks for reading!